it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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