Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
You told my mother that her salad dressing tasted like semen.
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
Randomize
