i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
is wine microwaveable?
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
Randomize
