Christians are straight up FREAKS
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
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