I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
Randomize
