i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
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