she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
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