He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
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