I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Randomize
