woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
So I had this brilliant idea that I would sleep in all sorts of sweatpants and sweatshirts... Apparently I thought I could "sweat" off the drunk in my sleep and that it would make me feel better when I woke up
Randomize
