You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
We're not piercing ourselves today.
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
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