Sry I called you an 8
i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
Sober January is a disaster.
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
Randomize
