Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
Randomize
