You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
This martini tastes like the bartender stirred it with his foreskin.
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
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