It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
me + whiskey = a bad person
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
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