The Swedes wanted a tensome.
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
Randomize
