How'd it feel making her break her religion?
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
Somehow I magically turned down a threesome last night. On my birthday. You're a horrible wingman.
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
Randomize
