Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
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