I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
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