I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
Randomize
