Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
The sex would be better if it wasn’t interrupted because his home detention ankle monitor needed charging. At least I know he’s not cheating on me
Do you even hear yourself?
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