Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
I came so hard my ears popped.
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
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