the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
Randomize
