i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
First drunken handjob: not successful. Second handjob, mostly sober: much better. Nightly news brought to you by me.
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
Randomize
