I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
We just shotgunned beers for America
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
there is puke in my bra ... again
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
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