JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
Randomize
