That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
Randomize
