I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
Randomize
