Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
I took your shirt off for you after you threw up on yourself, read you the ugly duckling, and then tucked you in. you better fucking love me, jackass.
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
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