So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
Randomize
