Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
areolas are like halos for boobs.
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
Randomize
