Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
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