Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
Randomize
