Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
My drug dealer just texted me that his kid had a rough sleep and was running late to deliver the ounce to my office. Totes adorbs.
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
Did you like my voicemail? Sounded like I was being murdered, right?
By a pack of ravenous dildos
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
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