This girl is more easily done than said...
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
Randomize
