I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
You can tell a man will be prosperous by the power of his farts- A fart that can shake the room is a voice that can change the world.
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
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