My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
Randomize
