If Billy Mays did an infomercial on your dick, it still wouldn't get you laid.
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize
