READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
Randomize
