I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
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