eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
Randomize
