I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
so i was pissing and the phone rang but i forgot i was pissing so i just ran to answer the phone. it was too late when i realized
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Randomize
