Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
I just woke and had to fish my phone out of a bowl of chili. I was wrist deep in it. WHO BROUGHT CHILI TO A PARTY?!
its not chili. and you brought it.
Randomize
