We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
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