Whod you bang
I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
Randomize
