I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
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