I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
Randomize
