Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
Walked home this morning with my contacts in a shot glass.
First class.
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
I'm going to buy you a pony but under one condition: you have to name it sarah jessika parker
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
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