Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
Randomize
