I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
He kissed a someone with a penis
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
On today's episode of "What the Shit Did I Do Last Night," drunk me deleted ALL of the text messages I've ever had. Awesome.
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
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