He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
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