So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
he was CRYING into my vagina
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
How many fucks given?
0.12846
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
Randomize
