dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
Randomize
