i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
Woke up in a pile of people on the floor. His dad was already up and ask me to help him cook bacon because "7 lbs can be a mother fucker"
I either need to get adopted or have someone's baby, but I'm joining that family
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
Randomize