Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
She did NOT find it funny to come upstairs to find me with the word "MISERY" written on my forehead in magic marker and the label to the vodka bottle replaced with a scrap of paper taped around that says "COMPANY"
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
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