and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
Houston, we have a blender
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
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