just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
Randomize
