those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
Randomize
