so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
My vibrator broke.
Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?
Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.
Randomize
