Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
Randomize
