I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
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