I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
Randomize
