I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
Randomize
