Small penises have feelings too.
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
Randomize
